生活在上海复旦
The Life in Fudan
Fudan University is claimed to position the third in China.Given a chance to study in Fudan as an exchange student for one semester, I carried my luggage with excitement and aspired to having a fruitful semester in Fudan.
But when I reached the campus, I was shocked by the first sight of my room.
The room is shared by six students with only two tables and without any air-conditioning system. The toilet is unbearably dirty, with flies and mosquitoes, germs and bacteria. The most unbelievable thing is that all students in a hostel share one bath room and all of us have to wash our clothes by ourselves.What＇s more, there is no access to the Internet and not any TV in our dormitory.
By then, I realized how fortunate I was being a Hong Kong student.
Instead of complaining, I was simply confused about the way students adapt their lives to such an environment. I doubt my ability of adaptation as I am the kind of students, who are easily succumbing to and beaten by difficulties.
But after living with my classmates a few weeks, I am proud that I gradually get used to the life here and consider the poor environment as a challenge to me. In fact, no students in the faculty are immune from the kind of life here. Those who are younger than me can live happily here, so can I. They can concentrate on their studies here, why can＇t I? There are no clean toilets, no washing machines and no air-conditioning system, but at least I have electricity and fans to stay cool; I have water and hands to wash clothes, which is already enough.
If I had lived in hostel where we have a separate bathroom for each room, I would not have had the chance to build up relationship between students from different rooms in times of washing clothes and taking shower. The life here is a unique experience.
In addition, the most precious lesson I learn from students here is their attitudes of studying. They are so devoted and industrious that they get up so early in the morning, queuing for a seat in the library or studying in classroom till late at night.Students are determined to achieve their far-sighted target, like continuing their studies as postgraduates. Besides, the students here possess knowledge of different areas instead of simply focusing on one specific area.
Studying and living with them is a priceless and inspiring lesson to me, a surprise to me that causes me to treasure the things I have, even some minor things which I took it for granted. I am sure that the coming year will be a fruitful one.
简 评
作为一名香港交流学生，梁佳义同学从自己独特的视角看到了我们习以为常的事物。他先是对大陆大学生们的生活条件表示惊诧，然后是困惑，进而逐步适应。先是对复旦学子们的勤奋钦佩不已，进而下定决心努力学习。作者以细致的笔触娓娓讲述了自己的思想历程。
香港基本上是一个双语社会，英语教学比较发达，学生们学习英语具有得天独厚的条件，梁佳义同学就向我们展示了过硬的语言功底。一方面，作者的语言流畅、地道，例如词组如immune from，succumb to等的使用就格外引人注目，因为这些地道的搭配和表达方式往往在大陆大学生作文中很难找到。另一方面，作者在文章中表达了自己的真实感受，比如使用shocked来描述自己初到新的生活环境的感受，又接连使用了两个so来表达自己对复旦学子的勤奋学习的无比钦佩，显得坦率而真诚。
当然，段落清晰，结构分明，也是本文的一大优点。可能是出于个人写作风格，作者有点偏爱排比的修辞手段，但对同义词的排比如germs and bacteria，devoted and industrious等最好适当控制，语言就更上一层楼了。
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